Reflections on Valentine's Day...

Another uneventful Valentine's Day has come and gone. I personally have no strong feelings about Valentine’s. I know many who do. Most of them are not pleasant feelings. As an impartial spectator, I've noticed that the amount of negative feelings aroused by the Day of Love far outnumber the positive.

First let's examine the male side of St. Valentine's. I'd wager that at least 90% of the male population harbours some dislike for the holiday, varying from minor annoyance to fiery hatred. Let’s further breakdown the males into two groups: the single and the taken. The single males are usually only slightly annoyed; mostly because of the reminder that they are single and won't be gettin’ any lovin’ on V-Day. But this tiny annoyance is nothing compared to the full-blown resentment harboured in their taken brothers.

The majority of Valentine's hate comes from the population of taken males. I've heard the lament of the Valentine's Day boyfriend dozens of times. It begins a few days before, during the period leading up to the Day which I like to call "The Gnashing of the Teeth." Suddenly the non-single males are hit with a full-on anxiety attack as they realize Valentine's is only days away and they haven't yet worked out the flowers/chocolates/misc gifts. They’ve also not planned out the romantic night on the town, the responsibility of which almost always falls solely on the male, both organizationally and fiscally. There are two main reactions to this: complete resentment towards the holiday or, in some extreme cases, a complete rebellion against it.

That's not to say that all females are safe from Cupid's poison-tipped arrow. Although the pink-and-red resentment is far less extreme in the female gender as a whole, the single female population often feels the “singlehood sadness” of Valentine's much more than that of their single male counterparts. And if you’re a taken female, you're usually the cannon-fodder that absorbs the male’s passive-aggressive barrage against the blatant commercialism of St. Valentine's Day.

That’s not to say that Valentine’s Day is an unholy terror that must be stopped at all costs. In theory, a day celebrating love is a much needed day, now more than ever. There just needs to be a major overhaul of the public perception and expectation of the holiday.

As for me, Valentine’s serves its purpose as a signpost of the years. Like most holidays, I can remember something about each of the last few Valentine’s. Last year’s holiday in Austin still lives on in my memory, and much of my discussion with my roommates then inspired this post. I can still taste the pink frosted cupcakes I ate with my fellow RAs in San Antonio two years ago. And I can still see the melting snow of February 14, 2004. Holidays make time seem shorter, the distant past less distant, the near future more near. In years to come I’ll look back and remember that one quiet Valentine’s Day in Scotland.

Cheers,
Jacob